THE TEMPEST

Act 3 Scene 2

(Enter Caliban, Stefano, and Trinculo)
l1l	Stefano	(to Caliban)
		 Tell not me. When the butt is out
l2l		we will drink water, not a drop before. Therefore bear
l3l		up and board ’em. Servant monster, drink to me.
l4l	Trinculo	Servant monster? The folly of this island! They
l5l		say there’s but five upon this isle. We are three of
l6l		them# if th’ other two be brained like us, the state
l7l		totters.
l8l	Stefano	Drink, servant monster, when I bid thee. Thy
l9l		eyes are almost set in thy head.
l10l	Trinculo	Where should they be set else? He were a brave
l11l		monster indeed if they were set in his tail.
l12l	Stefano	My man-monster hath drowned his tongue in
l13l		sack. For my part, the sea cannot drown me. I swam,
l14l		ere I could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues,
l15l		off and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant,
l16l		monster, or my standard.
l17l	Trinculo	Your lieutenant if you list# he’s no standard.
l18l	Stefano	We’ll not run, Monsieur Monster.
l19l	Trinculo	Nor go neither# but you’ll lie like dogs, and yet
l20l		say nothing neither.
l21l	Stefano	Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest
l22l		a good moon-calf.
l23l	Caliban	 How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe.
l24l		I’ll not serve him# he is not valiant.
l25l	Trinculo	 Thou liest, most ignorant monster! I am in case
l26l		to jostle a constable. Why, thou debauched fish, thou,
l27l		was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much
l28l		sack as I today? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being
l29l		but half a fish and half a monster?
l30l	Caliban	(to Stefano)
		 Lo, how he mocks me! Wilt thou let
l31l		him, my lord?
l32l	Trinculo	“Lord” quoth he? That a monster should be
l33l		such a natural!
l34l	Caliban	(to Stefano)
		 Lo, lo, again! Bite him to death, I prithee.
l35l	Stefano	 Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head. If
l36l		you prove a mutineer, the next tree. The poor monster’s
l37l		my subject, and he shall not suffer indignity.
l38l	Caliban	 I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased
l39l		To hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?
l40l	Stefano	 Marry, will I. Kneel and repeat it. I will stand,
l41l		and so shall Trinculo.
		(Caliban kneels.)
l42l		Enter Ariel, invisible
	Caliban	 As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant,
l43l		a sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the
l44l		island.
l45l	Ariel	 Thou liest.
l46l	Caliban	(to Trinculo)
		 Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou.
l47l		I would my valiant master would destroy thee.
l48l		I do not lie.
l49l	Stefano	 Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in ’s tale,
l50l		by this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.
l51l	Trinculo	Why, I said nothing.
l52l	Stefano	Mum, then, and no more.
		(To Caliban)
		 Proceed.
l53l	Caliban	 I say by sorcery he got this isle#
l54l		From me he got it. If thy greatness will
l55l		Revenge it on him—for I know thou dar’st,
l56l		But this thing dare not—
l57l	Stefano	 That’s most certain.
l58l	Caliban	 Thou shalt be lord of it, and I’ll serve thee.
l59l	Stefano	 How now shall this be compassed? Canst thou
l60l		bring me to the party?
l61l	Caliban	 Yea, yea, my lord. I’ll yield him thee asleep
l62l		Where thou mayst knock a nail into his head.
l63l	Ariel	 Thou liest, thou canst not.
l64l	Caliban	 What a pied ninny’s this!
		(To Trinculo)
		 Thou scurvy patch!
l65l		(To Stefano)
		 I do beseech thy greatness give him blows,
l66l		And take his bottle from him. When that’s gone
l67l		He shall drink naught but brine, for I’ll not show him
l68l		Where the quick freshes are.
l69l	Stefano	 Trinculo, run into no further danger. Interrupt
l70l		the monster one word further, and, by this hand, I’ll
l71l		turn my mercy out o’ doors and make a stockfish of
l72l		thee.
l73l	Trinculo	Why, what did I? I did nothing. I’ll go farther
l74l		off.
l75l	Stefano	Didst thou not say he lied?
l76l	Ariel	Thou liest.
l77l	Stefano	Do I so?
		(Striking Trinculo)
		 Take thou that. As
l78l		you like this, give me the lie another time.
l79l	Trinculo	I did not give the lie. Out o’ your wits and
l80l		hearing too? A pox o’ your bottle! This can sack and
l81l		drinking do. A murrain on your monster, and the devil
l82l		take your fingers.
l83l	Caliban	Ha, ha, ha!
l84l	Stefano	Now forward with your tale.
		(To Trinculo)
l85l		Prithee, stand further off.
l86l	Caliban	 Beat him enough# after a little time
l87l		I’ll beat him too.
	Stefano	
		(to Trinculo)
		 Stand farther.
		(To Caliban)
		 Come, proceed.
l88l	Caliban	Why, as I told thee, ’tis a custom with him
l89l		I’ th’ afternoon to sleep. There thou mayst brain him,
l90l		Having first seized his books# or with a log
l91l		Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
l92l		Or cut his weasand with thy knife. Remember
l93l		First to possess his books, for without them
l94l		He’s but a sot as I am, nor hath not
l95l		One spirit to command—they all do hate him
l96l		As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.
l97l		He has brave utensils, for so he calls them,
l98l		Which when he has a house he’ll deck withal.
l99l		And that most deeply to consider is
l100l		The beauty of his daughter. He himself
l101l		Calls her a nonpareil. I never saw a woman
l102l		But only Sycorax my dam and she,
l103l		But she as far surpasseth Sycorax
l104l		As great’st does least.
	Stefano	Is it so brave a lass?
l105l	Caliban	Ay, lord. She will become thy bed, I warrant,
l106l		And bring thee forth brave brood.
l107l	Stefano	 Monster, I will kill this man. His daughter and
l108l		I will be king and queen—save our graces!—and
l109l		Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou like
l110l		the plot, Trinculo?
l111l	Trinculo	Excellent.
l112l	Stefano	Give me thy hand. I am sorry I beat thee. But
l113l		while thou liv’st, keep a good tongue in thy head.
l114l	Caliban	 Within this half hour will he be asleep.
l115l		Wilt thou destroy him then?
l116l	Stefano	Ay, on mine honour.
l117l	Ariel	(aside)
		 This will I tell my master.
l118l	Caliban	Thou mak’st me merry# I am full of pleasure.
l119l		Let us be jocund. Will you troll the catch
l120l		You taught me but while-ere?
l121l	Stefano	 At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any
l122l		reason.—Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.
l123l		(Sings)
		> Flout ’em and cout ’em,
l124l		And scout ’em and flout ’em.
l125l		Thought is free.
l126l	Caliban	 That’s not the tune.
		(Ariel plays the tune on a tabor and pipe)
l127l	Stefano	 What is this same?
l128l	Trinculo	This is the tune of our catch, played by the
l129l		picture of Nobody.
l130l	Stefano	(calls towards Ariel)
		 If thou beest a man, show
l131l		thyself in thy likeness. If thou beest a devil, take ’t as
l132l		thou list.
l133l	Trinculo	O, forgive me my sins!
l134l	Stefano	He that dies pays all debts.
		(Calls)
		 I defy thee.—
l135l		Mercy upon us!
l136l	Caliban	Art thou afeard?
l137l	Stefano	No, monster, not I.
l138l	Caliban	 Be not afeard. The isle is full of noises,
l139l		Sounds, and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
l140l		Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
l141l		Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices
l142l		That if I then had waked after long sleep
l143l		Will make me sleep again# and then in dreaming
l144l		The clouds methought would open and show riches
l145l		Ready to drop upon me, that when I waked
l146l		I cried to dream again.
l147l	Stefano	 This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where
l148l		I shall have my music for nothing.
l149l	Caliban	When Prospero is destroyed.
l150l	Stefano	That shall be by and by. I remember the story.
		(Exit Ariel, playing music)
l151l	Trinculo	 The sound is going away. Let’s follow it, and
l152l		after do our work.
l153l	Stefano	Lead, monster# we’ll follow.—I would I could
l154l		see this taborer. He lays it on.
l155l	Trinculo	(to Caliban)
		 Wilt come? I’ll follow Stefano.
		(Exeunt)